Never accept gifts from a Taiwanese grandma!

So, I've been meaning to post...but, I have so many crazy stories I don't know where to begin.  Therefore, I will carpe diem and write about it.  Literally...today. July 14, 2014.  I know some of you might be disappointed and want to read about adventures petting Tigers in Thailand or diving in the reefs at Kho Tao...but...I'll seize that some other day.

Sundays are by far my most favorite days for so many reasons.  Church, Covenants, Friends, and Mormons are kind of awesome! Basically spending the day with 100+ of the coolest people in Hualien (or wherever I happen to be)  = happiness!

Here's what happened today.

After church, I've been volunteering as a piano teacher to anyone who has fingers and desire (not that you have to have fingers to play, but I told them that is all they needed to come, but I could make adaptations. So far everyone has fingers...although I have to remind many of them that the thumb counts as a finger as well!).  I've had Asian students before, but this was a group class and most of them don't speak English so it's 10x as fun!  I'm super impressed with what they have accomplished!  Many can already play a few simplified hymns and others are learning a few simplified arrangements of the classics (Western pieces). 

My Taiwanese grandma has also been attending lessons.  She doesn't always look at the music and plays a lot of the time by ear.  So, although she might be in the wrong key, she totally gets something.  However, she hates scales (she's one who refuses to use her thumbs...or really any more than 4 fingers to play (both hands)).  After 2 weeks of encouraging them to play a few simple scales, and her futile protests, she humbly led me downstairs to present me a gift (It was a black skirt); this time it was my time to protest.  But, you see...she's a grandma...and grandmas always get their way.  There's also this thing called a 'language barrier' and suddenly I'm back in Bulgaria where 'no' means 'yes' and 'yes' means 'no'.  (An effective strategy to deal with an invasion by the Ottomans as well as young reluctant piano teachers who just want you to practice scales.  Is this a bribe?)

Before I continue, let me introduce you to Grandma Si Do (Yeah, we use solfege ;) )

From my very first week, this sweet little lady would give me big hugs after church and tell me "I love you", basically the only English she knows.  Even without translators, it's obvious this lady is smart, kind, full of love, life, and happiness!  Typical to grandma form, she's superwoman.  I've hiked with her on our church children's hike, and she basically does what she wants.  The very next Sunday after this awkward gift exchange, she snuck me down stairs in between classes to where the children were having snack time.  (I HAD NO IDEA THEY DID THIS!)  She just walked up to the teachers, flashed them a smile, grabbed some guava and a handful of lychee and shared them with me.  I'm pretty sure she does this every week.

The next week, she again sneaks me downstairs.  This time I had sought advice, and was told the best thing to do was just accept and be grateful.  It was her ability to give that brought her happiness -  another reason why I love this sweet grandma!  But, It is possible that she worked for the Taiwanese Secret Service, because there is something mysterious about the whole process: she keeps putting her index finger up to her lips, checks the halls to see that no one is watching, and hides in the 'closet' when presenting me with a bag, then signals for me to hide it...almost like a drug deal...but we are in church...and I'm given a massive bag of 2nd-hand clothes.  The bag was full of pretty eclectic tops that all reminded me of my grandma back in Arkansas and her passion for thrift stores. 

I modeled a few:

Well, a few weeks passed, I went to Hong Kong, Thailand, Cambodia, and Taipei.  It took about another week to get the piano class back into the routine of things.  However, today after church she came up to me with this sly look on her face and flashed an even bigger smile when she hugged me.    Immediately I was the center of a plot to forever seal my fate and destiny to the island of Taiwan. Grandma Si Do seized the day to propose on behalf of her son, whom I have never met.  She proceeded to arrange my next week with dinners, rides to her house, and details of how strong, attractive, hard-working [insert every other amiable quality to be desired in a man here] her son is. 

I was sitting next to my friend, Apple who spoke English.  I feel like it is also pertinent that this was precious Apple's first day attending church and has now become the translator of an arranged Mormon wedding.

I managed to escape briefly by retreating to the Bishop's office.  But, I was found again and thankfully there were nice Elders willing to translate and finalize the details of our wedding...in an hour after our piano class. (Can this get any more awkward?)

She tried to make light of the fact that he didn't show up by inviting me over for dinner and giving me a banana.  But, now that this guy has already stood up his betrothed at the altar (aka piano bench), I'm not sure if can give him even a first chance.  I mean, I guess if he has a really cool name like Earnest. (Who's gonna get that reference? And yes, I don't even know his name. Romantic?)

The good news:
I have a skirt...and some pretty classy clothes that can substitute for a wedding dress. 
I'm deciding between either Fluffy Sparkly - Blue Sweater or Shoulder Pads and Hidden Buttons - Red Blazer.  Your votes count.

AND SERIOUSLY.