There are only two reasons why a person would honk at a runner:
1. Because runners are sexy.
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| we all know he's a runner... |
2. Because said honker is a disgrace to humanity and wants to annoy, irritate, scare, and aggravate said runner.
Let's just get this clear. There is no good time to honk at a runner. (Unless they are running out in front of you and you are breaking the speed limit and have no control over your car and therefore because of YOUR idiocy you have to warn them about said idiocy and caution them to avoid aforementioned idiocy.)
Okay, so you want to appreciate a runner's sexiness. Fine. Do it. Drive by, and soak it all in. I do. There are many fine runners (and I don't just mean that they have good form...although they most likely do...really good form.) Basically, when you honk your horn. I'm more likely going to think you are honking for reason number 2.
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| This is me running...pretty much every day. Man, SEXY! |
Let me explain potentially what could happen when you honk for reason number 2 with a personal anecdote:
I was having a great run. I was at a comfortable pace and out for a comfortable distance. I passed 5 miles and had over 1 mile left. It was already dark (yes world, judge me...but I had big decisions I was making and I NEEDED TO RUN. AND I have a headlamp. (I hope you inserted the "I know what I'm doing" tone in that previous sentence. You can use it in the next one too with a little more sass.) And this time I avoided sketchy parks. And it was actually before midnight. My music stopped, which was great, so I could sort through all the crazy ideas in my head.
And yeah, it was dark...so I KNOW I was looking real sexy. (Headlamps, yo). I recently turned out onto a sidewalk that parallels a busy street and in very deep thought when all of a sudden a car snuck up and tapped their horn. But, NEWSFLASH. Even if you barely tap your horn, it doesn't just barely beep. It blares and blasts a cacophony of sound that startles even the sexiest of runners. I didn't just jump; I, as elegantly as possible with as much swanlike grace, tripped and fell in a chaotic mess of confusion trying to maintain what composure and hope the previous 5 miles had wrought.
Sure, to the driving idiot who honked the horn, it might not have been that sexy. And maybe he even thought: how could someone so uncoordinated manage to run at all. BUT, his opinion became VOID as soon as he thought it was a good idea to honk. So, yes...Mr. License plate 366 YPO...okay, I didn't actually get your license plate. But, I know it had a 6 in it. Because in the south, 6 is satan. So, I'm really just assuming. ...and I actually don't even know what my license number is...I hope it doesn't have a 6...if it does, I'm changing it.
Yes, you had your fun. But, what if I start running with eggs in my hand...and next time you honk I can chunk it at your car. Who will be laughing then? Okay, most likely you...again...because I'll probably end up with egg yolk all over me...
Sigh. Sometimes, we are just too sexy for our own good.
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| He's still sexy... |
Some people just may be innocent enough to honk for reason 1.5: If you are honking because you feel it's going to give me the motivation to run an extra mile, thank you. Please stop.
I decided morning runs are the best...and running before tourists is even better! (Also, why do tourists and terrorists sound so similar?)
Here is a collage of a few morning runs from the week, lemon tarts I eat without shame because I love calories, and I became legit #businesscards
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